When hoisting bag, phone, coffee and starting out so fiercely
Then appearing not fierce enough: awkward. Yeah, no, but for
Feeling empowered? Thank you so much: this a thousand times.
Cause you know what: if you feel like it’ll translate? Own it: be
Sure your bike is in the frame. You really do need them to know
About your recent purchase: success is the best revenge, literally.
Unbox it, even: document the purchase, delivery, and packaging.
Why they say: the Internet is for everyone who lives in New York City.
Never shirk from taking the necessary glamor shots: sip that local
Organic wine, eat those vegan snacks. Be that foodie but never, ever
Eat breakfast: you brunch. And you don’t sit on a couch: it’s a sofa.
So many permissible photo subjects: craft beer, small-batch bourbon
Pressure machine coffee, and – always – bicycles. All cycling shots
Are to be captioned like nationally sanctioned epics: Glorious, Serious
Classic American Weekends made manifest. Then demand: enjoy!
The bottom line is if you cannot afford the artisanal, search out
The authentic: the summer can be more than only a season of your
All American past. Correctly captioned and at this low price
It remains a part of the future: yours and ours. Take the photo
And post it right away: you deserve it. This. A. Thousand. Times.